I hate being fat

Lol I rarely post about my *personal feelings* so bear with me…

I hate that I grew up fat. I hate that I loved who I was so much that I became stubborn to change the way I was. I hate that I was sensitive and the everyone around me learnt to keep quiet because I wouldn’t have listened to them no matter what they said about my weight.

Once I passed the age of 7 I stopped going down to the playground. Stopped running around with my neighbours, stopped playing silly games like catch or monkey in the middle. I stayed at home in front of the television rotting my little brain out. Everyone else spent those same years running about, probably with kids from their neighbourhood. I always spent them alone. While their muscle memories enhanced with the knowledge of how to catch a ball or react when an opponent runs pass you, my muscles slowly deteriorated as I sat on that couch or at the desk.

I used to think that the reason I sucked at sports or any team game or any social activity, really, all boiled down to the fact that I was fat. I couldn’t run, because I was fat. I couldn’t catch a ball, because I was fat. No one would talk to me, because I was fat. Boys laughed at me, because I was fat.

You know what’s the worse part? The worse part is growing up to realise that even though you’ve put in all that effort and lost all that weight; forcing myself to run, skip meals, eat less, inducing myself to puke the food out (doesn’t count as effort but it was a bad time so whatever). At the end of the bloody day you are still that fat ass kid stuck in your nicer looking exterior. Because of all those years I spent in my dormant stage I have literally zero muscle memory. I can’t really catch a ball properly cause my reaction time is shit, and whenever I try and play a game with someone I can’t focus and attempt to play properly because all my head tells me is that I am useless. And people are bloody confused at why I can’t seem to catch a ball properly or why I’m so scared to run up against the opponent or why I have a constant blank look at my face. You think I can’t hear what you say, can’t see the wtf faces you give your friends every time I mess up and can’t feel how your passive aggressiveness towards me. The saddest part is that that’s how society works and I believe every single bit of it. I am  useless in this and I am still that bloody fat kid.

ps: I really don’t care how badly written this is I just wanted to get all this off my chest.

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A very short update

Hey guys sorry for not posting but mu wordpress has finally reached maximum capacity, meaning I can no longer upload anymore photos hence no more food posts. I’m trying to sort that out and upgrade the space so until then you can watch my vlogs on youtube. It’s nothing much but you’ll get to see a side of me that is rarely shown on this space cause this space is reserved for like my food? I’m trying to post more vlogs as well cause I have a lot of videos that I need to clear meh. Sorry for the inconvenienced caused 😦 Thank you and have a nice day!!

xx

FFL Fresh Fruits Lab Review

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Hey guys, coming to you with a food review (lol what’s new right) on a relatively new cafe at the East! This is probably the second time I’ve ever been to the East with friends so it was a really interesting experience trying to navigate my way around. The rest shall be for another time, I digress. The cafe was pretty easy to find with a little help from google maps I could easily make the 8 minute walk from Kembangan MRT row of shop houses nestled between industrial buildings and large properties. FFL had cute decor, like chalk wall art and sofas with fruit pillows (pictured above) along side warm lighting to present a cozy atmosphere. We went on a thursday night so it wasn’t really packed but had a reasonable crowd to earn a profit.

When I sat down (because I was late so jials was alr seated, duh) I finally got to see the measuring cups and flask they use as drinking glasses as well as gave each person a complimentary test tube of fresh juice. We had pineapple and carrot but since we hate pineapple we split the carrot and left the pineapple to rot lol. What I really appreciated about the place was how extensive the menu was. From pastas to burgers and baked rice (seasonal menu), everything was well within a decent price range of 17 -20 dollars. Jials and I shared the Masago Caviar Pasta (My favourite, $20) and the Da Bomb Burger ($19, Jialses favourite). The burger was juicy, not greasy, with all the right elements; classic american cheese, an egg and of course, bacon. It came with a side of fries and fruit salad with was the perfect balance of sweet and savoury. Really your appetiser, meal and dessert rolled into one.

-Pasta appreciation paragraph, bear with me-

The Masago Pasta was a thing of beauty. If jails wasn’t there watching me I would have eaten it all up and said the woman cleared the plate when I wasn’t looking or something. Okay Masago caviar is basically fish roe. Very much like mentaiko pasta but less greasy which I find mentaiko to often be. The pasta was al dente tossed the lovely flavoured oil goodness that somehow had a creamy texture when i ate it. The caviar gave that slight seafood umami flavour that I love so much, like that sweet sweet feeling of eating prawns and sucking on the brain juice but less gross and more appealing to the eyes. I have to warn you that the scallops are spicy which will surprise you as the pasta is not spicy at all. But I tell you, if you take a little of the scallop and a twirl of pasta along with a teeny bit of that quail egg yolk on top, you’ll be gutted you didn’t get to eat it every single day.

-end of pasta appreciation-

All in all FFL is definitely a cafe to look out for. The variety of food available and quality of everything on the menu- forgot to add that our juice was delicious???- is truly what sets this place apart especially when it comes at such an affordable price range. Great for dates and catch ups!! My only criticism would be that the waitress didn’t even ask if I had finished my food and cleared my plate which had a precious scallop still on it?????????? grrr but I guess it was my fault for not touching it for 10 minutes but really you could ask right. Meh whatever. I’m just itching to find a weekend where I can try there brunch menu which is only available weekends 10am-3pm.

Fresh Fruits Lab

351 Changi Road

419818

Menu

Hope you’ve been having a great week and I’m currently brain storming on more interesting things to do for this blog hehe. stay tuned hopefully things come into fruition ^o^

Tanuki Raw

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Heyo back with another food review of Tanuki Raw where T and I had for our anniversary the other time! Firstly, the food was pretty good. I had the Truffle Yakiniku Don (18) while T had the the Yakitori Don (18). Both had a healthy portion of meat with furikake rice. In my opinion I could do without the furikake rice cause it made the whole meal a little too salty? Though once I literally swallowed the beef the furikake rice proved yummy on its own. The truffle flavor is very subtle and blends well with the taste of egg yolk. The beef was a little chewy ( was expecting melt in your mouth :-() but nonetheless seasoned well! For T, his yakitori was very very yummy with juicy chicken that wasn’t overly saucy which you find in many other teriyaki chicken dishes else where.

Sides: We ordered an order of oysters, salmon sashimi, as well as the caveman roll. Oysters were fresh and the pickled topping was very nice to give a fresh bite to the rich oyster flavor. The caveman roll was my favourite!! It was cuts of raw beef, still red and juicy, with a wasabi mayo that I absolutely loved. The raw beef was so eye opening because I had never had anything so texturely fulfilling???? Also not bloody and no mad cow disease guaranteed!!! The sashimi was super super disappointing in my opinion. It was cut so badly and had the not fresh fishy smell. Very very disappointed compared to the one we had at Standing sushi bar.

Lastly, I wanna address the shitty service there that everyone talks about. Personally, I had very good service. Despite the one of two prompts needed for cups for my water and for the table to be cleaned. All my food came on time with the correct orders given and they were very responsive to me. However I feel so bad for the couple next to us where not only got the wrong order but also waited much longer for their food than we did despite us ordering later. T and I suspect it’s because we ordered 90 dollars worth of food so they had to be nice to us HAHAHA. If you just wanna try the beef bowl go for lunch because it’s cheaper (14.8) and you don’t really wanna pay for shitty service do you? There’s lunch deals from 11:30-3 that you can view hereBut if you’re going on a date where your significant other is paying, feel free to go for the dinner and sit by the balcony to enjoy live music along with your booze and raw salmon (all I feel is bliss thinking about this.. time to drag T to bring me again muahahah)

Tanuki Raw

181 Orchard Road
#02-03 Orchard Central
Singapore 238896

Happy eating friends!

xx

Grids and Spaces

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Top: ASOS, Culotte: Monki, Shoes: On Pedder, Backpack: Urban Outfitters

There is something so rewarding about taking the time to put an outfit together for an evening out on the town. Lately with work basically taking up 24/7 of my life and T serving the nation, we’ve rarely found the time (or energy) to drag ourselves out of the house and have a nice dinner. Reasons why I love when the 14th of each month arrives. This means I have a reason to make T bring me to a nice place (my choice of course muahahah) to eat where I also force him to take my ootd and sit there staring at food while I spend 20 minutes taking photos.

That aside, I’m loving my new culottes from Monki in Europe!! The only one in Asia is in HK if I’m not wrong but I am absolutely in love with their clothes. My only regret is spending too much at the Adventure time store meaning I had to be very price conscious at Monki 😦 The culottes were only £10 (15SGD??). Side story- I was honestly coveting these pants for a good month or so on the online store so to have found them on sale in europe was a dream come true!!!! They are so light and airy making it perfect for the Singapore weather yet bring an edge to the outfit as compared to the usual high waisted shorts and mini skirts that everyone in SCAPE wears. I even wore them to work and the flow-y material allowed me to move around the cafe with ease. hehe can’t wait to wear them out more or not wear them at all until I’ve properly rotated all my new pieces of clothing wewewew. Hopefully I’ll get the Amsterdam photo diary up next cause the draft has just been sitting there…

bye-bye time for ballet hehe

xx

Easy Okonomiyaki Recipe!

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In the event of major stress, there can only be one answer- food! Not just eating but crawling to the kitchen and immersing myself into perfecting a new recipe. The control I have over how well a dish turns out puts my mind at ease unlike the total lack of control over my life as of now. In a fit of rage I went on a Japanese youtube watching spree. My favourite channels for yummy Japanese recipes are Cooking with Dog, Runnyrunny999 and Ochikeron! I got inspired to try and make okonomiyaki as it’s always been a favourite when eating out!

Recipe (Yields 10 small- medium pancakes or 4 large pancakes)

Ingredients:

1. 1.5 cups plain flour

2. 4 small eggs/ 3 large eggs

3. 450g of cabbage (stem intact)

4. 300g Nagaimo aka Mountain Yam aka Huai San (can be easily found at local NTUC)

5. 3 spring onions

6. 175 ml of hot water + 1 packet of dashi stock

7. Fillings of your choice- I used cooked, cut shrimp and dry shrimp, but feel free to go crazy (I heard cheese inside is really yummy)

8. Brown Sauce- This can very from tonkatsu sauce, okomi sauce or a combination of Worcestershire sauce + ketchup will do well

Optional: japanese mayo, aoi nori, benishoga, pickled radish, bacon slices

How to:

1. cut out stem from cabbage and slice to form cabbage strips. do the same with the spring onions!

2. In a bowl add flour, cabbage and spring onions. Toss to coat flour evenly

3. Peel and grate nagaimo using smallest grate size possible. You could also chop up and blitz on a food processor

4. add nagaimo, dashi and eggs to the bowl. stir until combined (do not over mix as it will toughen the cakes!!!!!)

5. Once mixed, fold in your fillings

6. coat a cold frying pan with oil

7. cut bacon in half and lay down bacon strips to form a little square of bacon (optional)

8. spoon in mixture and use your spatula or whatever to form a round shape, cake thickness should be about 3 cm

9. On low heat, cover the frying pan and let it sit for 7 minutes or until pancake is golden brown on one side

10. flip and lt other side cook for another 3 minutes

11. plate up and put whatever toppings you like!

*enjoy*

You’ll find this to be really filling with fluffy yet chewy batter and it makes you happy knowing that you’re eating a healthy meal packed with veggies. Just don’t go cray cray with the sauce!!

xx

ps. for every subsequent pancake there really isn’t a need to wait for pan to cool down. Just keep spooning onto a hot pan it’ll be fine!