Why I Hate Broccoli

Behold: The broccoli

If you know me well, you’d probably know that I legit hate vegetables. As a child I could eat a spoon full of rice and detect a single pea in the mix and spit it out instantaneously. Resultantly, my first encounter with broccoli was only in sec 2 when my good friend Mae was raving to me about how she loved broccoli and that she was so happy that she had some for recess that day (we were really kewl kids back in the day). Being the adventurous spirit that I was, I thought I’d give it a try I mean if so many people loved it, it had to be good right? Wrongzxzz (Z’s and X’s meant for emphasis for maximum passion). The moment I put it in my mouth and the florets descended upon my tongue I spat it out and washed my mouth with water.

**Just to clarify, I don’t hate it because of my then loathe for vegetables. I’m 17 now and I can eat salads just fine. It was only this year that I could put my tongue on why it really disgusted me.**

Bottom line is: Broccoli is pubes of the vegetable world

Please do not be mistaken, I’d like to point out that I have never put pubes in my mouth (not anyone else’s or my own). But if I ever did (which I never will because it iz gross bomb 101) I am guessing it will feel like raw broccoli florets. And just like pubes, people either hate or love broccoli. And I unfortunately hate it.

ps: do not think that i am trying to say that everyone who loves broccoli loves pubes because that is ridiculous o.o

pps: this was a shit ass post that I thought would be funny because i really wanted to share that broccoli was like pubes and 140 word limit on twitter prevented me from doing so. Don’t take me seriously I am not a weirdo, I swear.

HAHAHAH happy new year everybody



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